How to Shine Shoes
My father taught me how to shine shoes about 60 years ago. He was a military man. Spit and polish. But he did not use spit.
He preferred Kiwi polish. That's what I have used ever since.
He recommended a horsehair shoe brush. I use one.
He had me use a gadget that he screwed into the garage wall. It kept the shoe in front of him at chest level. It took me years to find one like it. These days, a comparable unit is called the Shine Butler. It sells for about $25.
He said to remove the shoelaces, so that I could shine the tongue. I tend to forget. Lazy.
Once I had a shoe attached to the gadget, he said I should wipe of any dirt with a damp rag before applying the polish. I do.
He said to apply the polish with a small application brush. I do.
He told me to let the polish dry for a couple of minutes. I do.
He told me to brush off the polish. I do.
Then came the spit substitute. He said to sprinkle a little water on the shoe after brushing it. Spray it on from an old spray bottle, or dip your fingers into a cup of water and sprinkle. Then buff with the brush again. I do.
He said to use a buffing cloth in the final stage. I do.
If he ever told me how not to get polish up my fingernails, I have forgotten. I cut them before shining. It helps. A little.
I received two tips. One is pretty smart. The second is the dumbest tip I have ever seen. It is so stupid that it is breathtaking.
Tip #1. "Nitrile gloves, no polish on fingers. Cheap at Walmart." There were other variations.
Tip #2: "Here's a better tip: Save money and time (and needless effort) by giving away shoes that need to be shined. And while you are at it, give away any clothes that need to be ironed or dry cleaned."
First, he forgets how hard it is to find a pair of leather dress shoes that fit. Then there is break-in time.
Second, this he thinks I have time to waste shopping for shirts and suits.
Third, I wear three-piece custom-made suits. They are not cheap. He thinks I should toss out a suit because it needs dry-cleaning. Incredible.
How does someone like this get through life? He must have been born so rich that he does not have to work.