Questions and Answers: Deciding Which Questions to Ask

Gary North

We are told by marital experts that married couples argue most about money.

This is probably because money is the most marketable commodity. It can be used to solve numerous problems, other than those that money will not solve. Problem: These are the problems that matter most.

I recommend that couples agree to sit down for an hour -- just one hour, initially -- to start asking questions about bothersome problems. They need to get these questions prioritized.

Here are some basic areas of disagreement:

Spending/budgeting
Debt juggling
TV viewing (sports widows)
Allocation of household chores
Children's behavior/discipline
Children's daily activities
Children's peers
In-laws' interference
Neighborhood

Some of these cannot be solved by money.

Here are areas too often ignored:

Retirement options
Savings required for retirement
Significance beyond occupation
Husbands' boredom at work
Wives' second careers (empty nest)
Legacy to heirs
Geography of grandchildren
Health issues

Which issues have persisted? Which issues have divided? Which issues cannot be solved by just one spouse?

These are the issues to get onto the table.

Ask the right questions, and discovering the correct answers becomes much easier.

An hour a month is a minimal commitment to questions and answers.

To sign up for my free Tip of the Week, use the subscription box here: www.garynorth.com.