Why Jay Leno Did Not Have to Leave The Tonight Show

Gary North - February 13, 2014

Jay Leno did not have to leave The Tonight Show. He simply decided he wanted to, that it was time to go. But he did not have to go.

This is how he could have kept The Tonight Show.

Scene. A meeting in the office of Robert Greenblatt, Chairman, NBC Entertainment.

Leno: "I want to keep The Tonight Show."

Greenblatt: "I'm sorry, Jay, but that just isn't possible."

Leno: "Yes, it is."

Greenblatt: No, Jay, it isn't."

Leno: "I'll do it for free."

Greenblatt: Silence.

Leno: "Have we got a deal?"

Greenblatt: "I'm sorry. What was that you just said?"

Leno: "Have we got a deal?"

Greenblatt: No. Before that."

Leno: "I'll do it for free."

Greenblatt: "You mean for free."

Leno: "That's right."

Greenblatt: "But I promised Fallon he could have it."

Leno: "Are you planning to pay him?"

Greenblatt: "Of course we're planning to pay him."

Leno: "Why?"

Greenblatt: "Because he won't do it for free."

Leno: "I will."

Greenblatt: "But nobody works for free."

Leno: "Mother Teresa did."

Greenblatt: "But that's because she had lousy Nielsen ratings."

Leno: "Mine are good."

Greenblatt: "But we pay you $15 million a year."

Leno: "You won't have to any more."

Greenblatt: "But why would you do this?"

Leno: "Because The Tonight Show is my calling."

Greenblatt: "What's a calling?"

Leno: "It's the most important thing you can do in which you would be most difficult to replace."

Greenblatt: "You mean like me being the chairman of NBC Entertainment."

Leno: "Not if you turn down my offer."

Greenblatt: "Why not?"

Leno: "Because if you turn down my offer, you will be very easy to replace. Within a week, I would guess."

Greenblatt: "NBC needs me."

Leno: "No. NBC needs me . . . if it can get me for free."

Greenblatt: "Are you threatening me?"

Leno: "No. I'm just explaining that Comcast, which owns NBC, has a fondness for the phrase: 'Free programming that we can charge a bundle for'."

Greenblatt: "But you will have to come to work every day for nothing."

Leno: "Not for nothing. For the opportunity to do something that I love to do, and millions of people enjoy watching me do."

Greenblatt: "But wouldn't you rather just putter around in your garage?"

Leno: "Not if I can do The Tonight Show."

Greenblatt: "But what if I decide not to take your offer?"

Leno: "I'll invite you to come onto the show and explain your decision."

Greenblatt: "I will not come. Ever."

Leno: "Then I will get a stuffed dummy, and I'll put your name on it. I will interview it every night until Fallon replaces me. It will just sit there, speechless."

Greenblatt would have taken the deal. It would have led to an immediate infusion of $15 million a year -- no muss, no fuss.

Fallon would have been disappointed, but maybe Greenblatt would have taken $1 million out of Leno's NBC care package and given it to him as a raise.

I don't think the Tonight Show was Leno's calling. His calling is to give away about 95% of the $350 million he is worth. Because if he doesn't, the IRS will get 55% of it when he dies. If he sets up a foundation to do it, the bureaucrats he hires will get to spend it.

It is better if he gives it away. It will not be easy.

I will miss Jaywalking. But it wasn't worth $332.5 million.