The Crucial Question That a Wise Man Pops Before He Pops the Question
The question is: "How much debt do you have?"
Problems arising from pre-marriage debt are among the most pressing for newlyweds.
Today, young women graduate from college -- or fail to -- with a personal debt of $20,000. This is what the average college student borrows. It is a huge mistake. College should cost no more than $20,000, total. But who takes my advice on this?
A man legally assumes all of his bride's debts on his wedding day.
If she owes on a mortgage, and the mortgage is not under water, fine. He is marrying an asset. But if she owes it on a signature loan, he had better be aware of what he is about to face. He, not just she, is legally liable.
Young men rarely understand this. They don't ask, and a woman hoping to get married doesn't mention it. The marriage market is tough as it is.
Jesus said to count the cost (Luke 14:28-30). This applies to marriage. If I were advising a young man, I would tell him to ask her father to pay off her debt. It's a dowry arrangement. Why should he be responsible for an unsecured loan to her?
Make this offer: "I'll pay for the wedding. You pay off her debts." Once the debts are paid, persuade her to elope.
But love is blind, especially to red ink.