The Way to Bargain With God When Your Physician Tells You to "Get Your Affairs in Order"
You may have heard of the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. They are posted here:
I don't know if they apply to most people or not. They have not applied to me yet. My response is: "Let's get on with it. I'm already behind schedule."
If my physician told me to get my affairs in order -- the guild's way of saying "you're terminal" -- I would say thanks for his frankness. Then I would get a second opinion from a conventional physician. Then I would consult a non-conventional practitioner. Then I would get on "the black box." If you don't know about the black box (which actually is gray), click here:
But if none of this worked, I would go straight to bargaining.
There are two basic prayers.
God, if you give me another X number of years, I'll do the following: [something big and self-sacrificing (if you weren't dying) that you are capable of doing, should have started, but have put on the back burner for twenty years].
God, I cannot possibly complete [something big and self-sacrificing (if I weren't dying) that I am capable of doing, should have started, but have put on the back burner for twenty years] if you won't give me another X number of years.
The trade is the same: more years for the Big Project. Yet the prayers are structured differently.
The comparatively new field of behavioral economics has discovered that structuring a proposed agreement is more crucial than even the terms of the agreement. I think this also applies with agreements with God.
The first proposal is me-centered. The second is God-centered. The first begs. The second states the obvious.
The proposed outcome is the same. What differs is the motivation. The first proposal assumes that I am important to God because of what I can do. The second assumes that the project is important enough to God to let me do what I can do.
We are back to Adam Smith's famous description of motivation.
But man has almost constant occasion for the help of his brethren, and it is in vain for him to expect it from their benevolence only. He will be more likely to prevail if he can interest their self-love in his favour, and show them that it is for their own advantage to do for him what he requires of them. Whoever offers to another a bargain of any kind, proposes to do this. Give me that which I want, and you shall have this which you want, is the meaning of every such offer; and it is in this manner that we obtain from one another the far greater part of those good offices which we stand in need of. It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker, that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own interest. We address ourselves, not to their humanity but to their self-love, and never talk to them of our own necessities but of their advantages.
Treat God with the same respect that you would treat a tradesman. After all, you're seeking to make a trade.
Here is my booklet: Stay of Execution: How to Bargain With God When You Have Under Six Months to Live: //www.garynorth.com/StayOfExecution.pdf.