July 19, 2008
Every once in a while, I receive an e-mail. Someone wants to know where he should attend seminary. My answer is always the same: why do you want to attend seminary? of course, they say that you should never answer a question with a question. But who are they?
There are a lot of reasons for attending seminary, but there are also reasons for not attending. Here are some good reasons for not attending seminary:
1. It costs way too much money.2. It takes time.
3. You can do all the reading assignments right where you are.
4. You can apprentice under a successful minister locally.
5. You can study during the day whenever you have time.
6. You can study at night whenever you have time.
7. You can read faster than a professor can speak.
8. You cannot underline a professor.
9. There is nothing in the Bible about seminary.
10. Your preaching may wind up sounding like verbal term papers.
11. No one cares whether or not you have read snippets of dead German theologians.
There are some good reasons for attending seminary.
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I'm thinking. I'm thinking.
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Oh, yes; I almost forgot. You can't get a job in certain denominations if you did not attend seminary.
The seminary is a crucial institution. It was invented in 1808 because Harvard College was going Unitarian. Congregational Calvinists in New England decided to invent a totally new institution. They did not do anything radical, such as start a college to replace Harvard. Instead, they added a three years of study and financial expense to the inescapable four years at Harvard. This stroke of institutional genius cut the supply of Calvinist Congregational pastors by almost doubling the cost of education. This plan worked so well for the Unitarians that within 50 years virtually all Congregational pastors had abandoned Calvinism.
Presbyterians imitated the Congregationalists, beginning in 1811 at Princeton, and it worked so well that within 50 years virtually all of America west of the Alleghenies was either Methodist or Baptist.
Seminaries have been crucial to the theological liberals in the mainline churches. The liberals captured at least 90% of them by 1900, and through them trained the young men who would inherit the pulpits. All of the large mainline hierarchical Protestant denominations had gone liberal by 1960, except for Missouri Synod Lutherans. Most had gone liberal by 1940. The seminaries were the key after 1880.
With successes like these, it is imperative that Calvinists continue to support seminary education.
In 1989, I wrote an article on seminaries. In 1997, I wrote a follow-up. My views have not changed.
It is so expensive to attend Westminster Theological Seminary, which I attended for one inexpensive year in 1963-64, that the school offers a U.S. government loan program. When a student has to go to the taxpayers of this Supreme Court-mandated secular humanist republic in order to train for the Christian ministry, something is out of kilter.
So, here's my assessment of the smartest way to get a seminary education. Contact the distance learning program at Andrewes Hall. Sign up for their program. The entire three-year program will cost you under $5,000. You do not have to have a college degree in order to get into the program. It is thoroughly Calvinistic. You can get the education without quitting your job, moving out of town, or attending lectures. This is because of the World Wide Web. The basic breakthrough of the World Wide Web with respect to education is that it offers a fundamental principle: if Muhammad won't go to the mountain, the mountain must go to Muhammad.
For details, call Rev. Doug Mills: 314 566 8642
The fundamental principle of all seminary accreditation is this: Christians must crawl on their bellies to be certified by people who they say are going to hell. But the people who are going to hell have certified themselves as scholars, and Christian intellectuals who do not wish to spend their lives as pastors need proof to donors that they are doing something useful for a living. So, they have worked an arrangement with the people who are going to hell. It is a kind of trade. "We'll pretend you are Christians, if you'll pretend we are scholars."
You may think I am cynical about seminary education. I used to be cynical, back when I was more optimistic about seminary education.
As long as you are going to give up three or four productive years, and as long as you're going to have to pay money for a degree which is unmarketable outside of the pastor, you might as well pay as little money as possible. Anything under $5,000 is a bargain check around. You will find out just how much of a bargain it is.
But, you think, what kind of an educational experience can I expect by just sitting around and reading? If you ask this question, you have not understood the nature of education. It will cost you a lot of money and a lot of time to gain understanding. Then, after you've spent the money and the time, you will be ready to get an education by sitting around and reading.
And maybe starting a blog.
Seminaries were the working model for law schools and business schools. They hired men who had never been pastors in order to train pastors. Law schools and business schools saw the brilliance of this move. So, law school students study under men who have never argued a case before a jury, and business school students study under men who would have problems running a profitable hot dog stand on Coney Island in July -- but would then sit down and devise a complex mathematical formula showing why they went bust.
To graduate from Andrewes Hall, you must study the ecclesiology of the Reformed Episcopal Church. It is a unique ecclesiology. Everyone hates it. Baptists hate it because there is a court system in which churches can get issues reconciled without splitting. Presbyterians hate it because it avoids the layers of committees that can keep judgments from being handed down for a decade -- maybe longer, if things go according to Robert's Rules of Order, Presbyterianism's favorite self-published book after the Bible. Standard Episcopalians hate it because its system of hierarchical courts gives laymen veto power over the bishops. What kind of crazy system is this?
No matter where you go to seminary, you're going to have to go through the screening system of listening to the sales pitch for the ecclesiastical tradition whose members are putting up the money for the seminary. This is somewhat like requiring homeless men in a rescue mission to sit through a short sermon before they are entitled to a plate of hash. I am not convinced that either group of listeners will remember much of what they heard.
So, if your ecclesiastical hierarchy is willing to count three years at a seminary that has not been accredited by the enemies of Christianity, I suggest Andrewes Hall. Their program as an inexpensive shortcut to jump through hoops that should not exist in the first place.
In this world, you don't get what you pay for. You get what you negotiate for. Seminary education is not worth much pastorally compared to apprenticeship under a successful pastor, so you should not pay much. Andrewes Hall is as good as any of the others, and is a whole lot cheaper. If you want your piece of paper, get it cheap.
P.S. The dean is a successful businessman, a pastor, and a full-time educator. When he tells you about the wonders of the vestry, ask him about direct marketing. If he doesn't know the answer, he will ask his bishop, who is equally accomplished. These people wear flip-around collars, but they understand a P&L statement when they see one. They favor P more than L.
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