January 1, 2009
This was posted on one of the forums on December 31:
What advice did you give your kids about drugs (including tobacco and alcohol)? At what ages? What were your family rules on this topic?
First, you need a theory of personal responsibility. Without this, you are not on moral high ground. You must teach children about personal responsibility: principles, actions, consequences. This takes years.
Second, you must follow your rules. This takes years.
Third, you must have a theory of body chemistry. Which chemical effects reduce personal predictability? This issue relates to responsibility.
Fourth, are some chemicals more comprehensive in reducing personal predictability? Which ones? High school students know about chemicals and predictability. They are ahead of their parents.
You must work on the responsibility-predictability issue from age 13.
Discuss a hospital. A person is drugged to reduce pain. But he is not allowed to drive, or even walk down the hall. Anesthetics have a purpose: to reduce pain. This lets others invade the body to heal it. A teenager can grasp this.
Then move from anesthetics to drugs. What pain must be thwarted? Who will do the invading?
To the extent that a drug is designed to stop pain, it is a benefit, when the pain is physiological. It lets a physician remove the cause. If the pain is psychological, the victim must deal with the cause. Anesthetics will not solve the problem. Teenagers can grasp this.
Here is the idea you had better get across:
A person who deliberately distorts his perception in order to escape from the discomfort of reality is unwilling to work to make reality better. This is an abdication of personal responsibility.
Here is the rule to lay down:
When you feel a buzz, stop ingesting. The buzz distorts your perception, and this reduces your predictability. There is no escape from responsibility, so don't try.
A teenager can understand this.
There are dead people today who did not honor this rule last night.
Go to the Web. Search for a drunk driving death article. Print it out. Then sit down with your teenager and go through the responsibility-predictability issue, using the article as your hook.
When the child has a driver's license, the risk factor rises. Make a deal with your child. Say this:
At every party, someone should be a self-designated driver. If you will take this job, I will pay you $20 for everyone you drive home. But you must not drink a drop of liquor or take any drugs. You must be stone-cold sober to avoid becoming stone-cold dead. If someone offers you a drink, say, "I plan to drive you home, so I'm not drinking."
Maybe some morning you will be asked to pay $100. So what? You have just been informed about the drinking habits of the peer group. Two more parties like this, and you had better revoke party privileges.
Tobacco is less of a problem. The temptation is less. Here, focus on responsibility and performance. Tobacco does not affect predictability. It affects performance: life expectancy, health, and wealth.
Buy a Texas Instruments BA-35 solar powered financial calculator for your child. Every child needs one by age 12. Or use a Web-based one, such as this:
Your child should learn about the time value of money.
Find out what a package of cigarettes costs in your town. Use the calculator to find out what the habit will cost in a 70-year addiction period: age 13 to 83 (if the tobacco does not shorten this).
I will demonstrate, using the BA-35. Use yearly cost: 365 x cost of one pack. This is PMT. Use 3% as I: a 3% return on investment after taxes and inflation. Use 70 for N. Tap CPT. Then tap FV. The number will be negative.
Let your child punch in the numbers (after you practice on your own). The number will be large. (Do you know how large? Guess.)
Now run the numbers with 5% and 7% for I. Have your child write down the results.
Call this exercise "up in smoke."
Then discuss a lifetime savings program.
I know of no better way to teach about tobacco or savings.
If this is useful to you, forward it.
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