Ten Guidelines for Your Funeral That Will Make Sure Your Heirs Do Well Rather than a Funeral "Home"
Oct. 20, 2009
This was posted on a forum
Comes a time to start considering all this. Funeral details, costs, etc. So much torture during a funeral occurs in decision making by the heirs often under great duress.What are good ways to work this out: allow the heirs to so do as they wish, prepaid with a funeral home or maybe letter of requests to the heirs? That last one could be vetoed by the strongest voiced family member I suppose.
My intention would be for a cremation, no viewing or cemetery service. But I may like to have a marker next to my parents in my home town cemetery. Decisions, decisions!
First, you must get this into your written final instructions. Get a witness to sign the document and date i, just below your signature and date. Then run this by your lawyer.
Second, cremation is the cheapest way to go. I recommend it.
Third, if you go with conventional burial, do not have your body preserved in any way for viewing. No embalming. Have a closed-casket funeral. You don't want the viewers to remember your lifeless body.
Fourth, select a cheap casket. I recommend the Jews' Orthodox pine casket.
Fifth, have non-family third parties negotiate the price of the funeral. Church officials are obvious candidates. Your heirs will be tempted to waste a lot of money on the funeral to prove that they care. If they really care, they can pay for a cruise for you now, or maybe a new boat.
Sixth, have the memorial service at a church. Don't pay the funeral home for this. The church will give you a better deal -- maybe free.
Seventh, be sure you know where you want your remains buried. Will this be far from where your children live? If so, they will never visit -- not that I think it's necessary. If you want to be buried far away, go with cremation.
Eighth, if you plan to be interred locally, and your church has a cemetery, use it. You get continuity with other families.
Ninth, do not use a headstone. A cheap metal marker is good enough. Try to think up something clever to put on it. Mine will be short and sweet: "O deadline, where is thy sting?" Keep 'em laughing.
Tenth, read Jessica Mitford's book, The American Way of Death (1963). Things are no better today. This will help you focus of your #1 task: to pass your wealth to your heirs/causes, not the funeral industry.
You should do what you can to minimize costs while you still can. Your heirs will be vulnerable to a funeral home's sales techniques. Get them out of the edcision-making process as much as you can by means of written instructions.